Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Review: Kashi GOLEAN Roll! Chocolate Turtle Protein & Fiber Bar

I would be willing to bet that when 95% of the ice cream eating world is asked what their favorite ice cream sundae is, they would say that it is a hot fudge sundae.  Hot fudge sundaes are nice, but in my book, the best sundae that exits is a Turtle sundae.  Vanilla ice cream (or custard), hot fudge, hot caramel and pecans.  Some are topped by whipped cream and a cherry for the proverbial (and literal) cherry on top, but those last two aren't completely necessary.  Because I feel that Turtle sundaes are the best, I was very intrigued when I saw this Kashi GOLEAN Roll! Chocolate Turtle bar on sale at my local Meijer for $1.50.  I've had bad experiences with Kashi products before when I tried their GOLEAN Crunch cereal, but I was willing to give this protein/fiber bar a try.  For those of you that are interested in the "under the hood" details, here you go:  all natural, a robust 1.94 ounces, 190 calories, twelve grams of protein and six grams of fiber.

As you can see by my picture and also by the packaging, this one is shaped like a roll and as Kashi describes it is "A chewy nougat center surrounded by smooth caramel, then rolled in toasted pecans, crunchy soy crisps, and whole grains."  If you take a closer look at the second picture, you can confirm that is indeed the case, although the crunchy part is more of a factor of the taste as opposed to the physical appearance.  Anyway, time for the taste...

At first bite, I almost broke a tooth.  This is shaped like a log and it has the chewiness of a one.  As I kept chewing, my jaw got tired and it took me quite a while to make it through this.  Funny thing is that is you go to the link of the product page and check some of the reviews at the bottom of the page, I'm not the only one that has had this issue, as there are several other reviews saying the same thing.  One thing a lot of those reviews do say is that this bar is very sweet.  Mine, on the other hand, was not sweet at all.  In fact, it didn't really taste like anything.  No strong chocolate flavor, no strong caramel flavor, nothing.  The chocolate was just there, the caramel was sticky but flavorless and the nuts were about what you'd expect (crunchy).  Other than that, this bar was nothing to write home about.  Of course, if you are in the habit of writing home about things that suck, then write away because this bar sucks.

Buy It or Fly By It?  Clearly FLY BY IT.  The sad part is that I have more of these Kashi roll bars in my refrigerator and I'm scared to eat them now.  The one positive, I guess, is that I do have dental insurance, so at least I'll be able to get my teeth fixed when one of these things inevitably causes them to break.  For the record, this is strike two on Kashi products.  Will there ever be one that is actually good?



  1. I've always thought of a turtle Sundae as a type of hot fudge sundae, but neither should ever break teeth.

    Did you check the best buy date? Maybe they were extra hard from being stale.

  2. I didn't check the date, but judging by the fact that other people have had the same problem with these bars, I'm guessing the date was okay.

  3. I'd consider taking the other varieties out of the fridge. If they're hard normally imagine how harder they got from being in the fridge.

  4. Too late, unfortunately. I've already eaten the others and written the reviews. You'll see them in the future!


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